雅思G类大作文真题9分范文分析

雅思托福考试是一个非常有难度的考试，相信很多在备考阶段的小伙伴们，每天都在关注一些雅思相关的消息。有同学问：雅思G类大作文真题9分范文分析？今天，一起来看看吧。

题目：

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children.

Do you agree or disagree?

题型：观点类，对一种观点/做法给出自己的态度并说明原因。

关键词：using a computer，every day，more negative than positive effects，yong children。

简析：不要忽略every day，因为如果合理控制使用时间，电脑对孩子的好处可能多于坏处。

范文及分段分析：

I tend to agree that young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the computer every day. This is partly because sitting in front of a screen for too long can be damaging to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child, regardless of what they are using the computer for.

学习点：

1.agree/disagree题型开头段写法（对应评分标准TR）：直接给出自己的态度倾向并说明原因。我倾向于同意每天玩太多电脑对孩子们是不好的。这一定程度上是因为在屏幕前久坐对孩子们的视力和体态都不好，无论他们用电脑做什么。

2.改写题目-同义替换：negative effects=be negatively affected，using computer=too much time spent on the computer。

3.万用句型：I tend to agree that...我倾向于同意某种观点（注意：不是完全同意）；This is partly because...一定程度上是因为。

4.语法点：第一句被动语态；第二句复杂句，注意regardless of使用。

However, the main concern is about the type of computer activities that attract children. These are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent. The player is usually the hero of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centred and insensitive to others.

学习点：

1.段落衔接（对应评分标准CC和TR）：第一句（中心句），用连接词however承接上文最后一句，指出我认为长时间用电脑对孩子不好的主要原因，与孩子用电脑做什么有关。第二句用连接词these开头，解释是什么样的电脑活动含有情节激烈和暴力的游戏。第三句说明这种游戏如何对孩子有不好的影响玩家是游戏里的英雄，长时间玩游戏会导致孩子自我中心、不关心他人。

2.万用句型：the main conern is about...问题的关键在于。

3.主题相关词汇短语（对应评分标准LR）：computer activities，electronic games，intense and violent，too much exposure，self-centred，be insensitive to others。

4.同义替换（LR）：child=the player

5.语法点（GRA）：第一句that attract children修饰电脑活动，第二句that tend to be...修饰电脑游戏。

Even when children use a computer for other purposes, such as getting information or emailing friends, it is no substitute for human interaction. Spending time with other children and sharing non-virtual experiences is an important part of a childs development that cannot be provided by a computer.

学习点：

1.段落衔接（CC和TR）：第一句（中心句），在逻辑和内容上承接上文，给出另一个认为负面影响多的原因，即使孩子使用电脑做别的事情，如查东西或给朋友写信，也不能替代人际互动。第二句解释人际互动的重要性，并强调是电脑无法给予的，扣题。

2.万用句型：...is an important part of...什么是什么的重要组成部分。

3.句子衔接（连接词，CC）：Even when...，such as。

4.主题相关词汇短语（LR）：getting information，emailing friends，human interaction，spend time with，share non-virtual experiences

5.语法点（GRA）：第一句，复杂句；第二句，动名词短语，that修饰，被动语态。

In spite of this, the obvious benefits of computer skills for young children cannot be denied. Their adult world will be changing constantly in terms of technology and the Internet is the key to all the knowledge and information available in the world today. Therefore it is important that children learn at an early age to use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence as they will need these skills throughout their studies and working lives.

学习点：

1.段落衔接（CC和TR）：第一句（中心句），不能忽略计算机技能对孩子的好处因为首段明确了是倾向于同意而不是完全同意，所以要论述一下计算机的好处。第二句解释为什么有好处，因为他们面临技术变革迅速的世界并且网络已成为获取知识的关键途径。第三句说明孩子学计算机的好处是什么，早学早会对学习和工作有帮助。

2.万用句型：In spite of this, the obvious benefits of sth for sb cannot be denied.

3.句子衔接（连接词，CC）：In spite of this，their，and，therefore，as。

4.主题相关词汇短语（LR）：computer skills，the Internet，at an early age，use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence。

5.同义替换（LR）：children=young children，computer=the equipment。

6.语法点（GRA）：第一句被动语态，第二句将来进行时，第三句复杂句，用and和as连接句子成分。

I think the main point is to make sure that young children do not overuse computers. Parents must ensure that their children learn to enjoy other kinds of activity and not simply sit at home, learning to live in a virtual world.

学习点：

1.末尾段写法（TR）：强调自己观点重点是不能过度使用电脑。家长应该帮助孩子们接触电脑以外的活动而不只是待在家里，应学习如何在真实世界里生活。

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