雅思G类6.5分大作文

随着全球化的加速和教育的多样化，越来越多的学生选择留学，而在申请国外大学时，语言考试是绕不开的一环，本文和大家说一说：雅思G类6.5分大作文，一起往下来看看吧。

题目：Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life?Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Different people hold different point of view regarding（用这个句子的考生太多） the way media treat famous personalities, specifically in terms of coverage of their private lives. I strongly believe that the media should refrain itself from breaching the privacy of notable personalities （要用and）I will provide suitable reasoning to support my stand. To further strengthen my position, light on the other view point will also be shed along with discussing its faults.（表述模糊，不具体。开头段应具有预告主体段的作用，不要写可有可无的内容）

Firstly, it It should be noted that privacy is equally needed by everyone.（中心句过于概括。应出现题目关键词）For me privacy is our rightcannot be compromised in any way. In my opinion, media nowadays fail to draw line between privatesocial life. It greatly thoroughly confuses the two and the result is obnoxious, unethical, spiced up news. Taking the example of the latest news hype about around a Pakistani actress wearing in western clothessmoking with an Indian star;（分号不能清楚表明句间关系，应使用恰当的连接方式）the act itself is very personal but media of both countries didnt fail to fully cover it and make a fuss out of it. It can be easily estimated that 40% of news influx is related to private matters of celebrities(加逗号) and this needs to change. They use it to increase their channel rankingsget maximum viewership.

On the other hand, there is a school of thought that believes that fame comes for a certain pricethat is to sacrifice your privacy（指代不清）. They （指代不清）are comfortable with media breaching privacy of celebrities as they are of the opinion that claim that（表达要简洁）a celebrity becomes a national assetis the bearer of national culture. I again, condemn this thoughtbelieves（I believe，主谓一致错误）that it is unethical to poke around into private matters of anyone.

论点缺乏支撑。

Concluding, In conclusion, I want to say that line must be is bound to be drawn between a celebritys privatesocial lifemedia should avoid invading their lives, as privacy is our psychological need.（结尾段不要提出新观点）It is not an acceptable a major trend to use such news for increased channel ratings.

结尾段应总结全文并再次强调个人观点。

总分：6.5

● Task Response: 6

✓ 回应了问题所有部分，有些部分比其他部分更充分

✓ 观点扣题，但结论不够清晰

✓ 论点扣题，但有些论点拓展不够

● Coherence and Cohesion: 6

连贯地组织信息和论点，行文推进清晰

✓ 有效使用连接词，但句间连接不恰当或不自然

✓ 有时指代不清/不当

✓ 分了段，但缺乏逻辑(缺少对论点的支撑)

● Lexical Resource: 7

✓ 词汇丰富，体现一定的灵活和准确

✓ 使用非常用词，对语体和搭配有认识

✓ 存在用词不准确、拼写、词性等小错误

● Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

✓ 使用多种复杂结构

✓ 句子准确无误

✓ 语法和标点错误很少

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