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雅思作文点评陈词滥调

2024-07-07 13:13:04 来源:中国教育在线

随着留学市场的不断发展,越来越多的学生选择留学。如果你也是想要留学的学生之一,那么你就需要参加语言考试,其中雅思托福就是最为常见的英语考试,下面中国教育在线外语频道小编就为大家介绍一下雅思作文点评:陈词滥调。

雅思作文点评:陈词滥调

直接搬出一篇雅思大作文习作,来make my point.

Nowadays, we have different way of life than our parents. We tend to criticize their thoughts and concepts for being not fit to such a fast growing society. However, some traditional ideas, in my opinion, are more valuable and should be inherited.

First, most principles, though dating from the past, own their values to the present and the future because they are the essences of our ancestors’ wisdom. They play significant roles in keep our society sustainable development from one generation to another. It is the heritage of traditional opinions that enables us to be frugal for living materials, natural and social resources. In contrast, if we judge the old ideas simply by its fit for modern times, it is more likely to deny those for which we are desperately look.

Meanwhile, it is noticeable that some tradition thoughts and concepts are increasingly integrated into modern world, especially in the domain of fashion design. The trend of back-to-ancients is a vivid demonstration in which the blend of traditional elements and modern design wins the popularity among younger generation. In this way, it seems arbitrary to assume that older generation’s traditional ideas are not the right way in the present age.

Despite, we still acknowledge that part of stereotypes desperately need to be reviewed or abandoned. Some obsolete viewpoints only followed the trend in the past and do not catch up the new generation due to their limitation. For example, gender discrimination existed in the past time but has been argued by the modern society, in which we advocate that females are able to have equal opportunities to chase their dreams, just like males do.

Therefore, it is carelessly to make a sweeping generalization that old traditions are not suitable to modern lives. It is rational to preserve those valuable and correct traditional ethics and discard the incompatible ones.

可以找一找这篇语言底子不错的雅思大作文,在句式使用上的一个特点,就是“It is”句型的泛滥,在全文的分布是:第2段,2次;第3段,2次;第5段,2次。最过分的就是第5段,只有2句话,就用了2次it is 句型。

笔者对此做的点评:我忍不住要重重地提醒你,你的全文中使用it is +adj的次数过多过滥,不信?你可以看看你的结论段。不要认为这种表达用得越多越好。使用这种表达,在我看来,是一种逃避责任的表达方式,因为你可以轻松地省去主语,用较为隐晦的方式来表达观点。

在雅思写作中,有些时候,出于某些需要,我们会选择使用某种句型。但如果因为习惯了不假思索的使用,而让自己的文章显得程式化,得不偿失。这6句,第一句之前已经做出了修改:Traditional ideas teach us to be frugal and always save for the future. 第2句” if we judge the old ideas simply by its fit for modern times, it is more likely to deny those for which we are desperately look“可修改为”If judging the old ideas simply by whether it is fit for modern times, we are more likely to miss what we desperately seek.“

通过上文的内容介绍,大家对“雅思作文点评:陈词滥调”大家是不是有了一个大致的了解呢?如果大家还想了解更详细、更多的相关内容,则可以继续关注本频道,也可以向本频道咨询。

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