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雅思大作文考官范文分析

2024-07-07 17:31:07 来源:中国教育在线

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雅思大作文考官范文分析

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

组长解析:话题背景是科技改变了人们的互动方式,注意时态has changed,一定要认真读题,尽可能准确回应题目中所有内容,TR是短时间内相对容易提分的评分项。写作任务有2个,一是科技如何影响人们建立的各种关系,二是(科技改变人们互动方式)是积极还是消极,都要注意时态。这种2个写作任务的题目对应的文章结构很简单,四段式,每个主体段回应一个写作任务即可。

It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication between people. Technology has affected relationships in various ways, and in my opinion there are both positive and negative effects.

组长解析:开头段两句话简洁明了,第一句改写题目,第二句回应写作任务,用various简单回应第一个问题中的types,用in my opininon、bothe positive and negative清晰给出个人观点,回应第二个问题。

改写替换:technology=new technologies, the way has changed=have had an influence on, people interact with each other=communication between people, 不好改写的不改写,以准确为重。

Technology has had an impact on relationships in business, education and social life. Firstly, telephones and the Internet allow business people in different countries to interact without ever meeting each other. Secondly, services like Skype create new possibilities for relationships between students and teachers. For example, a student can now take video lessons with a teacher in a different city or country. Finally, many people use social networks, like Facebook, to make new friends and find people who share common interests, and they interact through their computers rather than face to face.

组长解析:回应第一个写作任务。中心句把开头段提到的various(types)具体为buisness, education and social life,正确使用了与题目相同的时态has had。段内用第一、第二、最后的逻辑结构对中心句提到的三种情况逐个展开论证。

话题词汇:impact, interact without ever meeting each other, services like Skpye, take video lessons, social networks, Facebook, interact through computers, face to face.

On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. Cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written letters or telegrams. Nowadays, interactions by email, phone or video are almost as good as face-to-face meetings, and many of us benefit from these interactions, either in work or social contexts. On the other hand, the availability of new communication technologies can also have the result of isolating people and discouraging real interaction. For example, many young people choose to make friends online rather than mixing with their peers in the real world, and these virtual relationships are a poor substitute for real friendships.

组长解析:回应第二个写作任务。用On the one hand和On the other hand组织段落内容,分别论述优点和缺点。在谈论优点时,对比了过去和现在的变化,扣住了题中的has had;在谈论缺点时,用年轻人举例,让论述具体而有说服力。

话题词汇:cooperation between people, be limited to, written letters, telegrams, interactions by email, face-to-face meetings, benefit from, in work or social contexts, the availability of, new communication technologies, isolate people, discourage real interaction, mix with their peers in ther real world, vitual relationships, a poor subititute.

In conclusion, technology has certainly revolutionised communication between people, but not all of the outcomes of this revolution have been positive.

组长解析:结尾段简洁概括全文,变换表达方式再次回应写作任务/给出个人观点,确实已经改变了,但不是所有结果都是好的。

(257 words)

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